Self Care vs Self Love

Self Care vs Self Love

A few years ago, I remember constantly getting confused between these two: self-care and self-love.  Especially during exam week, my friends would tell me to relax and have a self-care day so I would feel better about myself, but to be honest, I never really knew how that helped as I still felt terrible within. 

So after a past relationship, I started to focus on myself more:  A 3 -month social media detox, finding what my style was, and what brought joy to my life – I believe that these acts of self-care were my personal steps to self-love. 

And here’s how I define it….

SELF CARE

It can be seen as temporary and help with balancing your life. Self-care lets you feel mentally and physically good. It can be your type of way to feel at peace from within.  

Some examples of these can include:

SELF LOVE

To me, I think of Self-love as the core light within you. Once you’ve achieved that sense of peace and self-acceptance, you can notice how this can impact the way you view yourself, how you act in relationships, and how you look at the world. 

But personally, I break self-love down into these three things: understanding yourself, prioritizing yourself, and finally embracing who you are. 

STEP 1: PRIORITIZING YOURSELF

Though society might shape us all into different people, at the end of the day, everyone has an inner child inside of us that wants to be cared for. However, with self-love, it’s learning to care about that inner child by prioritizing yourself. 

Prioritizing yourself can mean

   . To be patient with yourself

   . break down the harsh judgemental voice inside of you 

   . Being kind and fair to yourself

   . Giving yourself time to heal. 

   . Knowing you’re worth it and enough

   . Respecting yourself & the boundaries you create 

STEP 2: UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF.

Once you’ve made the first step in prioritizing yourself, you can definitely become much more aware of who you are as a person. Through this awareness, you’ll notice how you react/ respond in certain situations. This could mean you have a specific pattern in how you react, possible defense mechanisms, or even trust issues, that were built from past experiences. 

But let’s say you’re someone who has been or are going through anxiety ( or other mental health issues) understand what that means for you and know that there’s nothing wrong with it.

Some examples to understand yourself can include… 

notice how you react in certain situations. Is it because of a defence mechanism? previous trust issues that have been built? 

Coming to terms with either small traumas or betrayals that you’ve felt. 

Letting go and forgiving yourself from your past mistakes 

*meditation can also be extremely helpful when it comes to learning how to understand yourself and being present with your feelings. 

STEP 3: EMBRACING YOURSELF

 Lastly, possibly the hardest step, is to embrace yourself. Not gonna lie, I’m not always there. There are still days where I struggle, but it’s a process that’s doable as long as I’m being gentle and reasonable with myself. 

Some examples of this can include… 

Embracing your emotional parts: if you’re someone that is more emotional than others,  embrace that part of yourself. Though society makes us feel like we can’t be emotional, there’s honestly nothing wrong with being emotional. It just means you care and you’re empathetic.

Embracing your anxiety: be patient with yourself. Know that there are days where it might be harder than others, but never think that you aren’t normal just because you might overthink and get anxious in different situations.

Embracing your body: everyone’s body is beautiful and just because society doesn’t label it doesn’t mean it’s not worthy. If you’re someone who wants to work towards creating a healthier relationship with your body and mind, it’s always possible.

  

https://vsco.co/palomameehann/media/5ee63546e6a7ea5a7d2c2562

It’s so important to embrace who you are as a person: to appreciate who you are, understand that you’re always enough and that your feelings do matter. By doing this step, it can encourage self-growth, improve who you are, and, in the future, possibly help you create stronger relationships.  

WHY IS SELF LOVE IMPORTANT?

 As I mentioned before I see self-love as the core light that can be developed from within us. Loving who you are, respecting yourself, embracing your imperfections, and seeking validation from within can all help from a long term perspective. Loving yourself can help in various aspects including building stronger relationships, preventing yourself from getting into toxic ones, getting through personal challenging events, and can help with building a healthier relationship with your body, mind, and heart.  You’ll also learn how to be more resilient in situations and to not let your insecurities get the best of you.  

Self Love quote cards

Self Love quote cards

Here’s a story: a year ago from today, I was nowhere near ready to say and feel what I do today. I fell into a deep hole of uncertainty with my anxiety and depression and, at the time, I thought there was no way out. 

 If you’re someone who isn’t completely comfortable with who you are or with your body know that you’re not alone and you don’t always have to feel this way. 

What I’m trying to say is turning self-hate to self-love was one of the hardest things ever (but it’s not impossible to achieve. ) 

I started by stopping myself from needing to impress other people and to start loving myself from within. I’ve learned to stop comparing every flaw I had to others when I looked at myself in the mirror, and I’ve truly embraced and found what can bring joy to my life. 

here are some custom self-love quote cards that I created. Click into each image to see the quotes I added. 

A Guide to Vintage Aesthetic Fashion

A Guide to Vintage Aesthetic Fashion

What better introduction could we have to vintage fashion than thrifting, urban outfitters, retro cameras, the rise of the subculture grunge, 90’s school girl vibes, shoulder bags, and vintage cameras? 


I’ve always been interested in the vintage aesthetic trends but recently I’ve wondered how 2020 fashion trends date back to the vintage eras and how have these old and new subcultures evolved into the world of aesthetics ( since we now have e girl, soft girl, vsco girls) 

VINTAGE AESTHETICS 

Vintage clothes are before the 1980’s – 1990’s. They can be found in vintage stores but in the world of aesthetics, it means someone who’s into old retro vibes and the era of  70’s 80’s and 90’s. 

So here are some of my personal insights I’ve noticed when it comes to vintage aesthetics and trends.

THE 90’S

It was a huge turning point as fashion globalized in this era. The subculture grunge was introduced while the preppy school girl styles were popularized. On top of that, teens continued to become fashion icons and the introduction of  supermodels ( ex.Versace girls ) boomed more.  

Rise of  grunge in the 90’s 

This subculture started as economics was an issue back then. Due to poverty, street gatherings and the rise of bands like Nirvana, people started to adopt this grunge look. On top of that top fashion brands, such as Marc Jacobs, popularized this style by adopting the grunge look and added it to their collection.

Marc Jacobs grunge show

Current 2020 trend

Now a somewhat similar branch but more aesthetic style is the current e girl ( electronic girl ) Tik Tok helped this style rise in popularity and some of these includes chains necklaces, denim pants, the 90’s clips etc.

Rise of  90’s Preppy school girls 

Some may just call this trend a classic but in the world of aesthetics, they’ve brought back and evolved this type of style. Back then, the preppies were known as the upper class with a higher social status and were known to attend Ivy league schools. 

Some of these include cardigans, plaid skirts, tennis skirts, hair bands etc. 

Current 2020 trend

But this year’s fashion has brought the theme of the evolved preppies style into the world of aesthetics. However, with Quarantine, we can see more of this style trending on Instagram when it comes to the soft girl vibes/ trendsetting streetwear influencers. Whether it’s the plaid skirts, the cardigans, headbands or bucket hats (even making its way to the streets), it’s definitely a style with history.

The butterfly effect. 

You might’ve seen this over instagram bios or printings on crop tops, but the year of 2020 has also brought back the nostalgic 90’s butterfly effect. And that’s exactly the interesting concept when it comes to fashion, what goes around really does come around in the world of fashion.

THE 80’S

The 80’s was a decade of bold, style, and colour. Whether it was hair, makeup or clothing size,  everything was enlarged and brighter than ever. Also with the rise in cameras booming in this decade, it strongly affected how fashion was captured too. 

Fashion trend included: Denim/ designer jeans/ classic summer sundress/ jumpsuits/ overalls 

Current 2020 trend

As the 80’s was a decade of colour and boldness, we now see a replay in pastel colours brought into the world of aesthetics. Currently, pastel colours are especially popular among the world of social media and tie dye clothings are a quarantine edition. 

THE 70’S 

The 70’s cultivated some of the 60’s fashion (due to the fashion protest)  but in a much more exaggerated manner. Styling and Subcultures became more famous in this era and examples of this include: the fitness subculture, small ax hippies etc.

In fact, Vogue declared

“There are no rules of the fashion game now. You’re playing it and you make up the game as you go.”


Trends: women wore pants:  pantsuits / high rise /  jumper dresses over turtleneck shirts/ 70’s white belt and collars / long maxi dress/ high waist jeans / mod dress 

Accessories 

1970: vintage-style granny boots  ( laced up, stacked heels, embroidered fabrics)

1970 creating an earthy bohemian aesthetic 

Current 2020 trend

This year, we can see high rise pants also known as “ mom jeans” back in the stores and in the streetwear collections. On top of that add a crop top, a shoulder bag and the 90’s sandals would make the perfect aesthetic fit. 

Bucket Hat look

After thought

Above are just the list of things I’ve learned and some insights when it comes to vintage in the world of aesthetics, but there could always be another list. Is anything you’re wearing today bouncing back to one of these decades?

New to the healthy lifestyle?

New to the healthy lifestyle?

Whether it was an experience that sparked you, a change in breaking out of bad habits, or just the thought of wanting to strive for a healthier outer and inner feeling,  I know that these can all be overwhelming when you want to first change your lifestyle habits. From wanting to have a certain lean toned body to learning what body positivity means, maintaining a healthier lifestyle habit can range from all sorts of topics but achievable in the right approach.  

Personally, I call the goal of maintaining a healthier lifestyle as another act of self-love and self-care. To me, setting goals to change my lifestyle habits means being aware of the vibes I choose for my body, mind, and heart. 

So here are my insights into these 5 different lifestyle aspects:  mental health, food, body, growth, and working out.

 The realistic mindset

This can apply to everyone under different extents but my tip for this is to be practical with the changes you want to make. Don’t overwork yourself, list out your goals to help you stay motivated and be proud of the small changes you’ve done!

Body positivity

 Honestly, start the grateful practice. A lot of the times we worry about how others view our image and let that critical voice in our head get to us, so as repetitive as it may sound start the practice. It can be as simple as 3 things you like about yourself or your surroundings. By being aware and starting to appreciate what you have can shift your mindset of how you view things. 

Change your vibe: 

In my last post, I’ve talked a lot about how having good authentic vibes can be a step to self-love. When it comes to switching to that healthier lifestyle feeling there’s no difference. So whether it’s a room makeover to find your style or being aware and letting go of past mistakes, changing your vibe and how you approach life can definitely benefit your wellbeing in a healthy way. 

Working out: 

Working out is great for your physical and mental health but one thing I used to do was over challenge myself. So if you’re new to working out, start with a goal each day and review what you’ve done by the end of the week. Go at your own pace and take it easy too! 

Adding healthy food I’m not saying to cut out what you love to eat, but if you want to get into the healthy vibes, go ahead and add some avocados to your scrambled eggs, try out some matcha, eat less before you sleep and add some healthy oils to your meal.

Intro to the vulnerability project

Intro to the vulnerability project

Hi and welcome to my first post to an ongoing project I’m working on called the vulnerability project! In the future, I might continue this with a podcast about why true strength comes from finding your authentic self and embracing your “flaws”, but for now, here’s a little insight I’ve personally learned which I’ve found common in the world of building connections. 

*hopefully this is helpful for all of you going through or have once gone through something similar and just a reminder: You’re never alone. 

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS

Whether it’s a heartbreak, a long friendship, or parents falling out, going through emotions of betrayal, loss, shock, expectations being crushed (especially when it’s your first time) is definitely hard. 

In fact, it can take you through a whirlwind of emotions. You could completely turn cold after a bad experience, become less trusting when it comes to letting other people in your life again, or find yourself a replacement to act as a “bandage” because you fear to go through the emotions of pain.

What I’m saying is everyone always has a choice to make in life no matter what had once happened. Going through loss is painful enough already, but one of the hardest parts is to truly find the light within these experiences and to learn how to choose a different direction. 

The start of this comes from within, which is you. Meaning, it’s ok to take time to heal and grieve if you’ve been through hardships. Let yourself take that mask, which you wear in front of your peers, off for a while and to know that your feelings are completely valid, as your inner self/ ego has been let down. Because by doing this it’s the first step in understanding what it means to have strength in vulnerability.

Managing Stress

Managing Stress

We all go through stress at one point in our life. Say it’s academics, work, or personal sh*t, we’ve all been there. 

Not gonna lie, high school was quite a challenge for me at times (oop). Between my AP classes extracurricular activities, test-taking every other week, and going through my personal stuff was quite a rocky journey. 

So here are 4 tips I want to share with you guys when it comes to managing stress. 

The stress mindset

I’m not sure if this makes sense but basically something I used to do a lot was stress about being stressed. I realized I spent so much time stressing and getting anxious over the overwhelming list of things I have to complete that I lost a lot of precious time. In order to learn how to break this cycle, I incorporated a lot of new habit changes starting from these 3 tips I have.

The To Do List 

I’m sure you’ve heard about the to-do list and as effortful as it sounds it’s a realistic de-stress tool that helped me get through high school. Whether it’s on your laptop or notepad, by listing out what you have to accomplish can definitely help when it comes to reorganizing your priorities.

Take a break and let loose 

Honestly, no ones a working robot 24/7. I mean you can try to but it’s human nature to eventually crash at one point. Keeping a balanced life is so important when it comes to your wellbeing and can be an act of self-care too. I’m not saying to ditch your responsibilities but at a certain point go take a break, let loose a little, take a bubbly bath, hang with a few friends and get back to what you need to do after. Go look at your schedule now and plan out when you can have some downtime.

Meditation 

This is more of an ongoing practice. Meditation isn’t an easy skill to achieve but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. It’s true that not everyone could have the patience to sit or to prioritize their time at first ( I mean sometimes I just can’t be bothered too ) but that’s the thing, though it may take up some time the effect is definitely worth it. You’ll realize in just a few sessions you’re entire wellbeing and mindset can completely shift. Here are some of my favourite meditation apps that you can download: Head Space, and Calm.

After thought

At the start of my article I talk about how these managing stress tips helped me throughout high school but personally it also helped my anxiety in different ways. By doing these steps it gave myself time to understand how important it is to cultivate a balanced life and by taking more control in managing my stress gave me a sense of feeling lighter overall.

Morning Matcha &Meditation

Morning Matcha &Meditation

I got into meditation around this time last year but it wasn’t until half a year later that I  realized there was a huge difference to how I felt overall.  I became a lot more aware of my body by being present. I started to find ways to let go of my past and to embrace my flaws. I’ve learned, and am still learning, to put myself first and to seek my own validation from within.

On top of that, I got into drinking matcha. 

So you may ask why drink matcha? Isn’t it the same as green tea? 

well here are 8 reasons to why matcha is great for your overall wellbeing.

. Matcha is the healthiest type of  green tea but in a powder-like form.

.compared to coffee where you mostlikely crash after a boost of energy, matcha brings out a positive calming energy throughout the day. 

.  It’s also great for your immune system

. it can help control your stress in a more calming manner

. Matcha can help lose weight since it acts as a fat blocker and boosts your metabolism.

.It’s known as a “nutritional powerhouse” that is loaded with antitoxins

. it can help with reducing cancer risk

. and lastly it can greatly help when it comes to improving your skin

So here’s my morning matcha recipe:

After thought

Of course you don’t have to drink matcha before and after you meditate but personally this gives me more motivation to my mornings. I not only feel much more calm when I start my morning routine this way, but it gives me a reflective mindset for the rest of the day.